How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you

How DO you tell if your cat is plotting to kill you? 

My brother and his wife gave me a calendar that would help me interpret, month to month, the behaviors and actions of my cat, Monchiko.  Turns out he's been doing it since the day I got him.  I've decided to document these behaviors to correspond with the calendar months they are presented in from pictures taken over the years.  The calendar I received is also listed on a website where I took the screenshots from.

Let's begin with some January and February behaviors:

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